Happily Confused

I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm going to end up doing. 

And I couldn't be happier.

I have been having a very important conversation about my future with someone and every time we talked about it before, we left before we really resolved it. Mostly because it's hard to find the answer in so little time. This time we decided that we weren't leaving until we at least figured something out. I don't know all of the answers, but I listened to him again, he listened to me, and we really thought about what we both want and what God wants. We dug deeper than we had before and I even almost cried. 

I totally used to cry all of the time.. College has hardened me. I don't like that.

Anywho,

In the beginning of that conversation I felt like it would be the end of us. At the end of our conversation I knew it was the beginning. :)

I know that sounds so dumb but it's true! We didn't solve anything, we figured nothing out, we just talked about all of the possibilities. My previous "worst case scenario" was being laid in front of me and now I know that it could be my best case scenario. I don't know for sure, but I know that when I opened up to that possibility it didn't make sense and it crushed my old dreams but the moment I really considered it I was happy. I knew I could stay happy if I chose either. Now it's the choosing that's going to be difficult.

Hopefully God will have more input on the matter.

 Because really, one of my favorite things in this world is answered prayers, even if they are not the answers I want. It still feels good to know that God loves me enough to tell me what I need.

This probably doesn't make any sense right now. It's 3 am. I still have math to do.

I don't like math.

I'll be doing it though. And praying.

Not about math though, at least I hope not.

Ok I'm off to do my math, I have put it off way too long.

Goodnight Everybody.